Susanne Forscey-Moore

Actually, I've sent George material about my main interest at the moment,

Action for Justice which is a non-profit, non-party paralegal approach to

government accountability and political reform (whrew!). A4J is at

present focussed on the UK but takes an approach (the need for an

enforceable code of conduct for elected representatives) relevant to any

democratic government which is in some way disfunctional.

 

On a more personal level, I'm a middle-aged American writer who has lived

in Cambridge, England for the past ten years. I've always been a citizen

activist, but my special attraction to WAVE is not just based on the

connection that I see between the victimisation of the public by

politicians and abuse by private individuals, but on my experiences.

 

I myself have been involved with an abusive person. He was not

physically abusive but would engage in provocative behaviour which would

"entitle" him to abuse me emotionally. And the worst occasions (when I

disputed his version of reality), he would display infantile rage.

Suffice it to say that I needed to understand two things: why he behaved

the way he did and what part I played in it.

 

I learned how to defuse the situation and by refusing to give him payoffs

(tears or my own anger) and this helped him as well. Although WAVE

addresses physical violence, I believe the difference between domestic

violence and emotional abuse is in certain regards insignificant. Both

stem from the same early life deprivation and both can damage the

victim's self-respect, health, confidence and ability to enjoy life.

 

I realised some time ago that confronting an unresponsive and abusive

government was a surrogate battle, but that this was a good thing to do

with my experience.

 

I wouldn't have chosen the experience I had (though of course I probably

did just that), but I value what I have learned about human behaviour. I

think it is important to go beyond stimulus-response and not merely

condemn people who behave violently. They are victims too. Two books

were especially helpful: Narcissism by Dr Alexander Lewan and Alice

Miller's The Drama of Being a Child, both of which are sympathetic to the

narcissist/victim.

 

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